College Graduation, Separation, and Anticipation

College graduation–or commencement–is a weird time. In a “normal” time, thousands of students around the country get ready to walk across a stage, maybe throw a hat in the air, and…then what? Unlike the collective celebration of high school graduations, college commencement can feel more like a thousand individual graduations experienced by people sitting next to each other. In the current pandemic version of the world, many of these graduations are virtual or scaled back, which increases the sense of displacement. 

You’re not alone if you feel a sense of unease, overwhelm, or anticlimax.

As I looked toward my own graduation, I felt unsure about it. Because of rain, we packed into a gym rather than having the ceremony outside. I wasn’t sitting with the best friends from the last four years because their names weren’t next to mine in alphabetical order. I felt responsibility for family members visiting the campus, while I also tried to see certain friends one more time in between ceremonies. I regretted not having packed up my dorm room yet and dreaded the manic packing ahead of me.

Why the unease at college graduation?

There are many reasons for a sense of unease. For many students, high school graduation is a time of celebration surrounded by lifelong friends and community. Conversely, at my college graduation, I realized how many classmates I didn’t know. Some didn’t even look familiar.

Another reason for that unease was that I didn’t have a job yet. I had something to get me through the summer, but the certainty ended there. I knew about the four years I had just experienced and what I would be transitioning from. But I didn’t know what the near future would look like. And that was probably the first time I’d ever felt that way. Even classmates with jobs lined up may have a similar sense of unease. They may not know what the work experience–or making a new home in a different city–will look like.

So while college graduation is a transition, it may not feel like a celebration.

So what can you do?

• If you haven’t had your graduation ceremony yet, be prepared for it to feel weird, and know that’s okay. Consider making a college bucket list. Include a list of
  • friends to have one last conversation with,
  • acquaintances or professors to reconnect with,
  • places to visit before you leave campus.
• Know that many of those opportunities for connection will still be there after you graduate. They just might take a slightly different form.
• If you have just graduated and this sounds familiar, know that you’re not alone and others have experienced it before. Talk to friends, or write down your questions and thoughts in a journal, to help process what you’re experiencing. Know that this transition sets you up for a new phase of life, and checking in with yourself is a key step.

Any questions, or graduation experiences you want to share? Let me know in the comments!