The Unspoken Rules Review: a Fantastic Book for Career Starters

I’m always a little hesitant to write book reviews because I feel like I can never do the work justice. But Gorick Ng’s The Unspoken Rules: Secrets to Starting Your Career Off Right has been one of the most impactful books I’ve read in a long time, especially for early-career professionals. It’s full of tips, strategies, and common-sense realizations that seem obvious in retrospect, but that many of us wouldn’t know without being taught. Better yet, the book contains great email templates for all kinds of professional situations, from introducing yourself to a senior colleague at a new job, to writing an effective email asking for feedback. Read on for some key takeaways in this Unspoken Rules review.

Why the Unspoken Rules?

Unspoken rules are often thought of as knowledge about the workings of an organization or an industry that aren’t formally taught. Things like who sits where in a meeting room, or who speaks first in response to a presentation. While each company or organization has some of its own unspoken rules, there are also a set of unspoken rules that can help you build your career successfully, whatever organization you go into. And Gorick Ng has written an entire book about them.

In The Unspoken Rules, he shares his own experiences as a first-generation college student–growing up with a single immigrant mom in Toronto, but eventually landing at Harvard as an undergraduate. Adjusting to life at Harvard (and many students and faculty with dramatically different life experiences) was a shock. So was navigating a sometimes bumpy path through the corporate world after college.

Ng wrote this book for a primary audience of first-generation college students and graduates, and it has many tips geared to first-gen readers. I consider the book to be an essential read for almost anyone starting their career, especially if you haven’t had a long track record of internships or other professional jobs or mentors. After all, college doesn’t teach us many of the skills we need for life after college.

What are the Unspoken Rules?

The book lays out several unspoken rules straight out in the introduction. They include “do–and show–your homework,” “know your context and your audience,” “save others time and stress,” and “recognize patterns,” among many others. The unspoken rules are not secrets, but the book shares examples, advice, and specific tips on how to make them work for you and your career.

The unspoken rules may show up in all different places, from how to navigate a career fair (as something more than a place to pick up some free pens and other swag) to how to interpret a message from a boss that asks you to take on a project “if you have time.” The book is filled with questions you can ask yourself and others to learn about the unspoken rules in your workplace. It also gives ways you can take ownership of your career path, either within a company or by deciding when to leave.

Keys to Career Success: The Three C’s

While the book is packed with useful tips and tidbits, Ng grounds the book in a structure of Three C’s for succeeding in a new role:

• Competence – Can you do your job well?
• Commitment – Are you excited to be here?
• Compatibility – Do we get along?

He describes them further in this video:

Bringing the lessons home with stories

One of the things I loved about The Unspoken Rules is that it’s full of relatable stories. The author is open, particularly in the early parts of the book, about his own experiences and mistakes early in his career. He doesn’t try to sugarcoat anything or make himself look perfect, but he tries to understand and share the story behind the story.

But well beyond his own experiences, Ng brings in insights from others. The book was shaped by more than 500 interviews with individuals ranging from freshly-graduated professionals to CEOs and senior executives. Their experiences and insights populate the lessons of the book.

Useful tips and templates

I also appreciated the fact that he included so many email templates. As a manager in my current role, I have started sharing some of these tips with younger team members. Using or learning from the templates can really help you get what you need from a teammate or boss when you’re sending something for review. Here’s an example Gorick recently shared on Instagram:

Bottom Line: This Book is a Keeper

If you’re starting your career or are looking for some sage advice, then I would highly recommend picking up a copy of The Unspoken Rules. In fact, at this point, I’ve already purchased and given away about a dozen copies as gifts to young professionals that I know–that’s how meaningful I think it is.

Have you read The Unspoken Rules? What did you think? Let me know in the comments below!

Happy reading!

P.S. If you’re looking for more insights from Gorick Ng, you can check out his website, Gorick.com. And if you’re looking for more great books on careers, habits, finances, and more, be sure to check out my recommended resources page.

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